Before getting into any polemics, rants, or whatever else it is that people do on these things, I thought it only fair to explain what (or where) is Planet Grelican. Well, ever since I could remember until around age 12, I had dreams about these creatures called Grelicans. Some of my first memories weren't really 'memories', but memories of dreams. Before getting too metaphysical, here are the basics: Grelicans came to Earth by way of their own movable, pinkish-putple planet. It was under some mysterious propulsion, like a Liberace-colored Death Star. (remember, this is an early 80s train of thought). They came into orbit and started to make contact first as advanced, yet peacable beings. In these dreams, people were always as grateful as children for all the bones they threw us. Spiritual, technological guidance. Cures for diseases. Grelicans were good.
Soon into this, they started to live among us, and to convert people into their race. Grelicans were in my school classes, at kid's birthday parties. This was in fact their primary objective. Complete, willing (yet coerced) assymilation. Soon, I'd be the only one in my class who wasn't a grelican. They did weird things like eat Rice Crispies with vinegar. Things that just seemed wrong. As a kid, this embodied all the basic fears; parents would get a knock on the door, and a couple of nice people-looking Grelicans would politely offer conversion in exchange for money at first, then civil liberties, then life itself. The end of the dream would always be a long nooooo... where my parents would enter the 'conversion machine', put their 50 cents in the slot, and be physically transformed in a steamy, red and blue disco nightmare. They'd come out different, in some vague and sinister way, trying to make me join them.
The dreams sometimes went further, getting into fights at school (in dreams) resistance movements, planetary warfare, and the occasional conquest of Planet Grelican itself. The impact of media on the psyche of a little kid is obvious. Thinking on the things I was watching, Starwars, the 'V' series, the A Team, all kinds of Steve Guttenberg romantic comedies, and the '84 elections while living in the only place that Mondale won outside Minnesota.
Grelicans, with their plasticky features, in 'monster form' looking looking like those store manequins with the slanted necks instead of heads, were the embodyment of all kinds of things in my little mind, with its many complex and warring inputs. Manequins, Republicans, V-lizards, the occasional Vader-like feeling. And being a Jew in a Christian world, where you're always somehow just a little different, and definitely almost alone.
This means a lot for how I think today. I hate one-sided arguments. This page will undoubtedly be full of them, but I encourage all argument with any point of view here, as long as the aim is consensus, and not destruction or assymilation of my (or your) world view. Stop me if I'm ever guilty of this. This is a safety valve for a head full of thoughts, and that's all. I hope it's as fun for you as it is for me. --EJ
