My father sometimes recounts a friend of his from school who was famously handsome, but tried to pick up girls using love advice from Playboy. Let's call him Jim. Despite having everything going for him, Jim never could get a date. Looking back at my own time in school I remember thinking, if I can act this way, or that way, or some other way, I might score a prom date at the very least. It never worked.
In both Jim's and my own case, while we were looking for the perfect attitude, the perfect line, the right cologne, other guys were just saying, "I like that girl, I think I'll ask her out." Even if it didn't work every time, it worked. Meanwhile, Jim and I stayed home for the proverbial prom.
Getting older, I see that talking to women, selling stuff, or winning at something all require what the voodoo practitioners among us call mojo. For nerds, the best advice on this subject is found in the immortal words of Yoda, "Do or do not. There is no try."
At the root of that inability to just do is insecurity. It may come out of some chemical imbalance, or some past experience of getting burned, but the result is the same. People ask, "what if they don't like me?" or "what if I come off the wrong way?" It's self doubt through endless self analysis; sort of a Woody Allen navel gazing exercise.
For a long time I've watched Republicans do a great job at saying to themselves and everyone else, "I like what I believe in. I believe it's the right thing, and I think you'll see it my way if you give me a minute to explain..." These are the guys who get the girls.
For an equally long time I've watched Democrats backtrack, vacillate, waffle and eventually pancake. "Well, you see, it's a matter of the long term policy approach. When we examine what's at the root of the problem there are three basic phenomena at work, each of which we can ameliorate through a multipronged strategy of capital injections, programs and civil society blah blah blah heee hawww heee hawwwww..."
No wonder research psychologists have found conservatives to be more happy on average than liberals. It's gotta feel great to be so sure of your world view.
Some self examination and reevaluation of the situation is good. Listening to talking heads parsing every syllable of a convention speech and worrying if the wrong message came across is bad. In fact, responding to the talking heads just validates views that don't help your cause.
In November, Obama may win this election, and liberals may take control of most seats of government. None of that will matter until they grow a pair, stop responding to every criticism, acknowledging every special interest that feels slighted by some asinine comment or position, and say in simple terms what they believe in.
I've heard many Democrats say that coming at the issues from a simple, emotional viewpoint is somehow dumbing down the issues for the proletariat, but they're wrong, condescending, and in my opinion, don't deserve to govern.
It's not a matter of being intelligent, it's confidence. Too often this class of people view intelligence as the greatest virtue. It's a good thing to have, but on its own, it doesn't lead to greater morality, or even wise decisions. Feeling and belief matter. Standing up and saying you want something and you know you're right is just as important as explaining why you're right.
Watch Ted Kennedy. He gets up there, and for forty years has said exactly what he stands for. People can malign his character, but the consistency of his belief if beyond reproach. That will be his legacy.
Someone at the Denver convention needs to stand up and say, "I'm a Liberal. We're Liberals. We're here to do good, make this country safer, stronger, and a better place for our children. The other guys couldn't do it, and now it's our turn." I've been hearing bits and pieces of it, but then I read of chatter from the convention floor about whether this or that speech was too lofty, too wonky, came on too strong, or offended someone. Shut up. Stand there and cheer. Ignore the critics and seize the day. It's our turn. We're right, they're wrong. Let's roll.
