Accepting the Exceptions

Let's be clear:

• Everybody is a fiscal conservative... until they try to change Social Security and Medicare.
• Everybody is socially liberal... until someone does something they find repugnant.
• Everybody is a dedicated capitalist... until they lose all of their savings to their houses.
• Nobody is a socialist... until they join the military or turn 65.
• Nobody drinks too much... until everybody drinks too much. 
• Nobody smokes... until the one guy who does lights up.
• Nobody is a bigot... until their daughter comes home with one of "them."
• Everybody is pro-life... until that daughter comes home pregnant.
• Nobody forgets to wash their hands after they use the toilet, except for sometimes.
• Everybody is a patriot... until tax day.
• Everybody recycles... unless they make you sort it yourself.
• Everybody believes in God... or some higher power, or something... right?
• Nobody farts, especially women.
• Everybody sticks to their diets... until they smell the french fries.
• Nobody likes the rain... until there's a drought.
• Everybody is a fan of freedom... until they discover they're free to starve too.
• Everybody hates the government... until there's something they need from it, like roads and schools.
• Nobody has any dirty secrets... until the evidence emerges and they're under oath.
• Everybody loves diversity... until "they" move in next door.
• Nobody picks their nose. Ok, not really.
• Everybody roots for the home team... until they fall below .500
• Everybody feels ripped off by their insurance policies... until they have a big claim.
  Nobody litters... until there's no trash can and no one else around.
• Everybody invests according to their conscience... until they see the returns on oil company stock.
• Nobody watches much TV, except for Game of Thrones, House, Glee, Antiques Roadshow, Survivor, True Blood, Fringe, Dancing with the Stars, and Battlestar Galactica reruns.

We're all hypocrites. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we can all get along.